Last updated on August 5, 2020

Life Is Tough But So Are You!

That’s the biggest takeaway I hope you’ll get from listening to this episode with this week’s guest Ashley Adams, how a mother of 2 little ones struggled for years with thoughts of shame, fears and hope that her married/family dream life would turn out okay in the end. Unfortunately, her world unravelled quickly with her husband’s alcoholism and she had to make decisions quickly all thinking about her kids safety.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

So often we follow a path because it’s the paved road of life…..most classic examples are finish high school, go to college/post-secondary education, get a job, get married, build your career, have kids, become empty-nesters, retire and do what you want to do before dying. Did I get that right? Well, if that kinda looks like the path you’re on OR what you might think is the perfect path or have thought this was the perfect path for you then think again. Ashley was one of those girls that wanted to live the perfect life and the traditional path….until life had other plans.

So this episode will help you unleash the path you might want and to rethink if it’s really what YOU want for YOU, or if it’s only because you’ve never thought anything else was possible for you. She will tell you what it takes to identify your own path even if it might bring some chaos into your life for a little while.

THE SECRETS WE KEEP BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Don’t you love showing others what you’ve accomplished, where you’ve been lately, sharing tips on how to cook better meals, shop without breaking your budget, make your kids clean up their rooms, how to have a healthy relationship or happy marriage……well I see tons of how-to and hacks to living a better life on social media these days. For example, if you’re a Rachel Hollis fan then you’ve probably heard this American Mama, author and social Influencer who has a top rated podcasts and relationship conference on how to have a thriving relationship……yet all the while she suddenly posted last month that her marriage was over. Okay, so something here doesn’t add up…. and this is what I mean, so many of us are living a secret life behind closed doors, afraid what everyone will think of us, of our family, of our relationship, of our success as mothers, partner or even employees and business owners.

Have you been living your life differently behind closed doors? If so, then what’s your reason for keeping it behind the curtains or in the safety of your own home or heart…. This episode will get down to the before and after of having family secrets that might be doing you and your family more harm than good.

PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN

If you’ve got kids then this might just be a no-brainer and instinctual reflex for you. The curious thing is that sometimes you might not have the strength to change something for you but when you are responsible for other little people or younger kids then it can push you in the right direction fast!

Being a mother is a force within you that you can choose to access at any time in order to acheive more, live more and keep you and your kids safe from harm when needed.

I hope that this episode will make you realize that regardless of your mom journey and if you feel like life is just hitting you hard sometimes, don’t forget to believe in your strength. You have more to give, you are more and everything passes if you can learn to recognize the challenges that your facing and what’s truly right for you….and for your kids.

Scroll down to see some ressources which Ashley found helpful during her mom journey living with an alcoholic husband.

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE!

Apple Podcasts (Leave A Review HERE) / Spotify / Stitcher / Soundcloud

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

0-4:10 Intro

4:40 Why women are much stronger than they believe

6:38 Finding the strength living with her alcoholic husband over the years

8:00 Why she published her book…

9:20 Meeting her ex-husband at 20 years old, how her story begins

11:10 Red Flags that appeared in her relationship

12:16 The fear of being alone

13:15 Being naive about the life she was living

14:30 Why no one warned her about him

15:25 When she first believed her husband was truly an alcoholic

17:00 From marriage to having her first child…the reality of motherhood with an alcoholic husband

17:30 The mental impact of keeping your secret behind closed doors 

19:45 Good Drinking vs Bad Drinking

22:15 Why have a child with an alcoholic?

23:10 What are the good times being married to an alcoholic.

24:00 Getting Help

28:05 Her tips about alcoholics for other mothers or women living with an alcoholic partner

32:20 Blaming yourself for your partner’s self-destructive behavior.

33:25 Keeping it all a secret

34:45 How was he as a dad

36:55 People prefer to stay out of it completely instead of saying something

37:45 The end of the marriage

40:45 The importance of having a tribe to support you

42:47 The 2 things Ashley says kids need to thrive after a divorce.

45:32 A mother’s fear for her children’s genetics & the possible tendency towards their father’s addiction.

46:15 Restarting again and getting remarried…and letting go of old relationship patterns.

49:05 Important lessons learned from her journey living with an alcoholic partner

51:45 Helpful resources for mothers going through a similar journey.

53:33 Where you can connect with Ashley online

54:00 The LAST Question

Connect With Our Guest:

• Website
• Book -The Other Side of the Door: Behind the secrets and lies we keep
• Instagram
• Facebook

Ressources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Ashley Adams’s book ‘The Other Side of the Door: Behind the secrets and lies we keep’
• Book – Glennon Doyle ‘Carry On Warrior’
• Brene Brown
• Book – 5 Love Languages For Kids
• Movie – Inside Out
• Citrus Love Podcast Episode 27 – How You Can Parent Through Crisis with Barbara Coloroso

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It’s important to share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. We all need each other to thrive as mothers and parents in this lifelong journey. Share your love, frustrations, favorite takeaways and stories in a respectful way.

Christiane xxx